Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
