I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize