Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
