Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize