that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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