a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize