i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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