Don't you send me to vm
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
