Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Randomize
