She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
