so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
