I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
