thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
