He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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