I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
