You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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