She said her name was "party"
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
