Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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