we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
In America we eat man semen.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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