dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
