can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
