so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
