Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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