It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
