Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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