Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
