is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
