Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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