just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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