Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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