If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash