You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.