I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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