Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
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I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in