My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now