Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
