i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
