I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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