I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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