I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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