you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
