Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
