you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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