I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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