Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
