I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
