Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
