Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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