it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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