i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
