You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
