We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I need a beard to bite.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
