Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
MIDGETS
????
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
