Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
the night ended with taco bell and tears
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
