I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
All the doctor said was why
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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