idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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