Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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