is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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