I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I want to be your penis for a week.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
