1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
