Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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