I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
