I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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