I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
