your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
