So drunk its hurt
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
