these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
