so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
