I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
where are you?
Hypothermia
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
