I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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