i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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