You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
