So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
